Rick V Stewie: Dawn of Something
by X14333
Summary: Rick is in a pickle this time, broh! When he and Morty wind up in Quahog, Rhode Island, he is greeted with his Inter Dimensional match, Stewie. But before that, it's alcohol time with Rick, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland, Broh.(Also Meg and Jerry are in it.)
1. chapter 1

**Setup:**

In Quohog Rhode Island, a green portal opened at the Griffin's front door. Several figures walked out of the portal all looking to be some grey, spiky haired men in white soldier clothing. One of them knocked on the door and Brian Griffin who was holding a martini answered. "Uh...can I help you?"he asked.

"Greetings,"said one of the men, "We are the Council of Ricks. We wanna talk to someone named uh...wh-what was his name, Stevie?"

"Stewie?"corrected Brian.

"Yeah! That's it, Stewie."

"Uh-huh. Hey, Stewie! Some guys are here to see you."

Stewie walks up next to Brian. "Ah, is it Rubert's whip cream pie? Ah, ha! That devil."he looked up and saw the Council of Ricks, "What the deuce? Who are you?"

"They say they're from the Council of Ricks or something?"said Brian finishing his martini, "Probably wants us to join their religious cult."

"Cut the crap, atheist dog!"said the main Rick in command, "We need the kid's help to kill someone!"

Stewie looked up and said, "Hmm...I see. Who is it?"

Another Rick held up a poster of a different Rick. "These guys. The Rick and Morty of Earth Dimension C-137!"he said. "Oh! And if you see him, kill his Jerry too."

"Why so?"

"Uhhh, because we don't LIKE him. Duh!"said Doofus Rick coming out of the portal. And everyone was staring at him, "Th-that's me just trying to fit in..."

One Rick smiled, "Oh, please, Doofus Rick! Everyone knows you're sucking Jerry's d*!"

Doofus Rick defended himself, "Hey, that was just a rumor!"

Stewie snickered and turned to Brian, "Hey, Bri."he said, "It's Rick Meg!"the two both laughed.

Commander Rick turned to the other two, "Welp, we gotta go."he said as the Ricks existed through the portal, "Don't forget about that Rick! Dimension C-137!"he handed them the poster and left yelling, "WAHOO! THIRD SEASON, BIOTCH!"

As the portal closed Stewie mumbled, "Oh believe, it gets worse if it goes on forever..."


	2. Pete and Rick, broh!

**Chapter 2:**

Meanwhile, in another part of Quahog, another green portal opened and a rigidly space ship flew out that held both the Rick and Morty of Dimension C-137. Morty was driving as he crashed onto the ground. Upon landing, the hatch opened and the two came out. Morty panicked, "Ah jeez, Rick! Do y-you think it looks bad?"

"Uh, gee, I dunno Morty!"said Rick, "I wasn't the one driving like a fffrickn' *burp* Sqwanchy!"

"Aw, man..."

"Alright Morty, just calm down."said Rick looking in his tool box, "W-w-we need some new equipment, Morty! M-my portal gun is ouuuut of charge, so you're going to have to explore this dimension for some *buurp* new parts."

"Me!?"yelled Morty, "W-What'll you be doing, Rick?"

"Morty, I've-I've gotta get some booze, Morty. I'm not even gonna sugar coat it this time. By now you already know that I'm an AAAlcoholic scientist."

"But, Rick, I-I don't know how that'll help the situation!"

Rick grabbed Morty by his shoulders,"Y-you gonna argue with me, Morty, or are yyyou gonna do as I say?"

"Aw, jeez."said Morty as he then walked off.

Then, Rick looked around and saw a tavern called the Drunken Clam near by, "Oh sh, son! Ja*burp*ckpot!"

Meanwhile, at the clam, Peter Griffin, Joe Swanson, Glen Quagmire, and Cleveland Brown were watching tv while drinking beer.

 _"We now return to Gazorpazorpfield!"_ Said the TV voice.

In Gazorpazorpfield, the parody's Garfield walked up to Odie and said, "Boy, Odie! You are a worthless piece of canine Garbage you stupid idiot!"

Jon walks in and is only mildly appalled, "Really, Gazorpazorpfield? You have to pick on Odie, too?"

Gazorpazorpfield points a ray gun at Jon, "Hey, Jon. Where's the f*king enchiladas I demanded for last episode, huh?"he then blasts Jon's head as it turns to ashes and then Odie licks the remains.

Peter whispers to the audience, "It airs here, too."

"Ey, Peter, we got something to tell ya."said Joe. "Quagmire."

"We got tickets to go see the new Kate Upton movie."

"Ah, sweet."said Peter, "The one where she's in her bathing suit and you could almost see her nipple?"

"Yeah. But the problem is that we only got 3 tickets."

Cleveland piped up, "And remember what happened last time?"

Cutaway to the movies where Peter and the gang were watching the ending to ET and Peter was crying obnoxiously.

One guy yelled, "Hey! Keep your kid under control."

Cutback to the Clam. Peter said, "But without you guys, Lois'll probably make me learn responsibility by makin' me take care of Stewie, Chris, and the third one!"

Just then, Rick walked in and sat at the bar. Jerome greeted him, "What can I get ya old timer?"

"Just get me a*burp* Paw Tucket Patriot Ale."replied Rick looking at the menu.

"Huh. He new?"asked Quagmire, "Never seen him before."

"Probably one of those tourists."said Joe.

"Oh please, Joe, nothin' happens in Quahog."said Peter.

On TV, Gazorpazorpfield was interrupted by Channel 5 Action News with Tom Tucker. "This just in, After Mayor West's tragic death, Quahog is holding an election for our next mayor. And this year it's either Kanaye West or The Hamburgalar. Cast your votes people."

"Hey wasn't it the Hamburgalar's idea to put that Mulan McNugget sauce back on the Menu?"asked Peter

This made Rick spit take his beer. "You mean the teriyaki Szechwan Sauce!?"

"Ah, yeah, that was good."said Peter

"I know r*burp*iiight? And you say they still have it?"

"Hell yeah they do!"

Rick gasped and poured the rest of the beer in his flask, "Jerome, I'm taking this to go!"he turned to Peter, "You! Whatever the hell your name is, come with me!"

"Hey, Peter Griffin!"said Peter holding out his hand.

"No time, let's go!"said Rick grabbing Peter's arm and pulling him out the door.

Later, Peter and Rick were driving around in a car filled with McNuggets and Szechuan Sauce.

"Yeah-ha-ha-ha!"said Peter.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!"said Rick eating the nuggets. "Y'know what Peter, you're alright."

"Same to you Rick."said Peter who was driving.

Rick saw Morty on the sidewalk on Spooner St., "Whoa, Pete, stop the car." Peter stopped the car and rolled down the window, "What's up, Morty?"

"I got the parts Rick, we can go home now, right?"asked Morty.

"Where'd you get em'?"

Flashback to Morty ring the doorbell of Herbert the Pervert who opened the door and said, "Must be my birthday."he invited Morty inside and whatever happens next is pretty muck your guess.

Flashback end.

"It was only the most uncomfortable experience of my entire life..."said Morty putting the tools in the trunk.


	3. CLIFFHANGERS, BROH!

Stewie and Brian walked into Stewie's room. Stewie pulled a baseball that stuck out from his Toy Box. This opened a secret room holding all of his weapons and inventions. "In order to kill this 'Rick Sanchez' we'll need the proper weapons to deal with him."

Brian looked around, "So, how long has it been since you used this room?"he asked.

"What season are we on now?"replied Stewie packing a bag filled with inventions like the Multiverse Remote, Return Pad, and Mind Control Beam along with some Guns, Rifles, and other weapons. "No matter, I think I have everything that I need, now let's go find him. This'll be like the time I started that business to assasinate the monsters under kids' beds."

In a flashback, a kid was sleeping on his bed. Under, gunshots and screaming can be heard. Stewie climbed out grabbing a dead Cookie Monster by the neck. The kid woke up half asleep. "Don't worry, Little Timmy, Cookie Monster won't get his blue, diabetic ass in your cookie jar anymore!"said Stewie. "But, that will be $89.95."

Cutback to the present, Peter, Rick, and Morty drove up on the Griffin residence. "Well, here we are, Casa de Griffin!"said Peter.

"What?"said Rick.

"I dunno, that's just me tryin' to be cool."

Rick shrugged, "Meh."

Morty piped up from the back, "Hey Rick don't you think we should, y'know, get back to our dimension?"

"M-Morty just shut up for a*burp* second!"said Rick, "Let the adults talk!

"I mean I'm-I'm covered in McNugget sauce, y'know, from earlier. My Mom and Dad an-and Summer she's like-th-they're all probably worried, Rick."

"I'm sorry, who're you again? I don't think we've been properly introduced."said Peter

"Wait, y-you just let random people just come into your car."

"Well I was an uber driver once before."Peter looked at the audience, "Na, we don't have to go to a cutaway, that was an actual episode."

Rick turned to Morty, "Listen, Morty, If-If you think that Beth, Summer, and the Third one are worried than ju*burp*st g-give one of those batteries you got from that Herbert guy."he took out the portal gun and opened up a spot for batteries.

"I thought that the portal gun ran on charge?"

said Morty.

"It's FanFiction, Morty! F*king anything can happen! Y-you should see the-what is it-the My Little Pony, S-Sonic the Hedgehog, Naruto ones. Like things can get pretty weird there!"

"What are you talking about, Rick? Wha-?"

"Aw, what about the um... the Steven Universe ones?"said Peter.

"Oh sh*t, yeah, those too!"

"Peter! Don't encourage him! Aw, jeez. Rick. can we just go home?"

"Who said we were going home, Morty?"said Rick rolling down the window. He put new batteries in the portal gun and shot a portal on the garage door. Out from the portal, Jerry. Beth, and Summer walked out.

 **Meh. Something is better than nothing! Stay Tuned!**


	4. Chapter 3 or something

Mr. Poopybutthole closed the book after reading the last chapter as Consuela was cleaning up in the background. "Ooh Wee! What a great chapter that was! Ooh wee, oh boy! Can't wait to read more."

"No..." said Consuela, "No, no more chapters..."

"What!? No more?"

"Yes... I keep cleaning with Noob Noob."

Noob Noob appeared, "God Daaamn!"

"Shut up, keep cleaning with lemon pledge..."

Noob Noob held his head down, "God Daaamn..."he said in sadness.

"Well I'm just gonna think the rest up! Oooh Wee! Get ready to go inside my mind!"Said Mr. Poopy Butthole as the camera shoved his way into head. "Oh god it hurts!"

Back at the Griffin's House, Summer, Jerry, and Beth we're now sitting on the couch with Rick and Peter"Wait, weren't we just outside?"said Jerry.

"Shut the f*k up, Jerry!"yelled Rick, "We don't *burp* follow physics here! Phhhhysics are stupid! Hey, isn't that right, Peter?"he nudged Peter on the shoulder.

"Yeaaaaah..."said Peter. "Shut up, middle aged man Meg!"

Lois walks in, "Peter, what the hell is going on? Who are these people?"

Beth got up and introduced herself, "Hi, my name is Beth, this is my father, Rick, my husband, Jerry, and my kids, Summer and Morty."

"Hi!"said Morty.

"Morty?"said Peter, "Hey when the hell did you get in here?"

"I've been here for like 5 minutes."

"Okay, well I'm Lois."Lois said.

"That-that's it?"Said Beth.

"Yeah, that's it, you already met Peter, Meg and Chris are at school, and the Dog and the baby are always off doing their own thing."

"I'm just saying you could've gone more into detail. I mean that's like if Aladdin just wanted to get with Jasmine as soon as possible just by saying his name."

We cut to Agrabah where we see Aladdin and Jasmine in an alleyway. "Hey, I'm Aladdin, wanna make babies?"Aladdin asked Jasmine.

"Wha-? No! I don't even know you!"Jasmine replied.

"Hey, well it's either me, Jafar, your dad, the Genie, the Monkey, or the Parrot."

That night Aladdin is watching Jasmine make out with the carpet on the bed.

"I'd have gone with the carpet too."

We cut back to the main story. "Uhhh...what was that?"asked Jerry.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, i-it's just somethin' we do around here, alright. So, why isn't she sayin' anything?"Peter said pointing to Summer.

"Whatever."she said.

"Ah, there ya go."

Stewie and Brian came down stairs, "Ok, Brian, first off this is MY mission so I don't want you interluding with your egotistical bullish*t, alright?"

"Alright, fine."said Brian, "Hey isn't that the guy you're supposed to kill right there?"

Stewie saw Rick, "*Gasp*! Well that's all we got for today, byyeee!!"

Rick looked at the audience, "Yep this to-took this long to write see ya."

 **End.**


End file.
